Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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