thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
