i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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