Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
