come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
