I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
