A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
