if you like me you must not know who I am
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
