Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
