im about as happy as oj after his trial
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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