But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
