he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
Randomize