Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Randomize
