I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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