I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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