First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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