You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize