I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
