So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
