This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
this will be a night to untag.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
