They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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