I haven't been this sober since birth.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize