i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Just puked most of my soul out..
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
