I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
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