The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?