The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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