The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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