I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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