You can't special order awesome
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Randomize
