Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm just crazy horny about you
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
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