I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
