Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
