With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
Randomize
