Having a random hookup so left but love u
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
