We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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