we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
