i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize
