nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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