My room smells like vodka and shame
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
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