Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
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