Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize
