Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize