Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
