you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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