I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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