Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
