Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Randomize
