All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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