eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
