He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
