oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
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blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
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I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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