walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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