so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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