Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
