i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
