Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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