the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
