I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
