Say something about gay babies.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
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