I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
this just has baby written all over it
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
