I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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