Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
