Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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