there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
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