there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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