this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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