im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
