I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
